


Shmillion Mistakes

by orphan_account



Category: Invader Zim
Genre: (sort of) fallen irken empire, Alternate Universe - High School, Dib is So Done (Invader Zim), Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Mention of death but it isnt anyone important, Minor Violence, Older Dib (Invader Zim), Slow Burn, Trans Dib (Invader Zim), Trans Male Character, Trans Zim (Invader Zim), Zim Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-09
Updated: 2020-04-30
Packaged: 2021-03-01 01:47:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 18,552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23077273
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: It's been six years and Zim hasn't even left so much as a voicemail until one day he just...shows up at school. But maybe there is still a chance for Dib to give a Zim new purpose after he learns that his mission is fake and the Irken Empire has nearly fallen.~Dib is 18 and Zim is roughly equivalent in age in this fic. The NSFW chapter is skip-able.~
Relationships: Dib & Zim (Invader Zim), Dib/Zim (Invader Zim)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 116





	1. Pilot

He’s not coming back. Not this time. Maybe for once Zim truly was gone for good and Dib knew he couldn’t keep waiting. He could envision the tiny irken finally becoming stuck in his filthy toilet that he seemed strangely obsessed with and never managed to escape. Maybe all of his failures had finally caught up to him and he was actually dead. Or maybe Zim had finally figured out the truth, that his mission truly was a lie.

Dib remembered all those years ago he had planted a spy camera in Zim’s house in hopes of catching him speaking with his Tallests. He had sat there, watching his computer, eager for Zim to announce his evil plan to the Tallest when just then Zim fled screaming “GIR, WHY DOES IT SMELT LIKE BURNT SOAP” as smoke escaped the kitchen. As Zim continued to yell to his robot servant who explained to him that he was making cupcakes off-screen, the Tallest remained there, staring awkwardly into the empty living room.

“Do you think we should hang up?” he remembered the purple one saying. “I mean, he’s not even a real Invader. Though watching him suffer is pretty funny.”

“It is pretty funny,” the red one said as he laughed. “He’s so dumb, he would never figure out we sent him on a fake mission just to get rid of him. Who cares about this...eh what planet did we send him to?”

“We sent him to planet ‘who cares’!” They both laughed. 

And it was after this moment that Dib had stared at his computer, frozen in place as he was left completely dumbfounded. He had spent so long trying to stop this alien, fearing what he could do to mankind, when in the end he was just here as punishment. How could it be true that his efforts to save the earth were pointless because the earth was never in any real danger?

Perhaps he should’ve been relieved but all Dib could feel was...disappointed. If his purpose wasn’t stopping Zim, then what was it? He wondered if he should even tell Zim the truth. Would he even listen? 

But when the time came to finally gloat in front of Zim how he knew the truth and he had knocked on Zim’s door there was no answer. Not even Gir answered and it was at this point he knew something was wrong. The door was firmly bolted shut and when he glanced through the windows he only saw an empty house. He expected to at least see Zim shmooping but he didn’t even see that. Just cobwebs and a thick layer of dust that had somehow appeared there despite only being three hours.

Maybe it was for the best Dib never got a chance to gloat, for perhaps there was a part of him that felt bad for Zim. He didn’t know why, for why should he? Zim was his enemy and yet ever since that moment he had seen how sad Zim had grown upon realizing his Tallests were never coming for him, he began to realize just how quite similar he was to Zim. It scared him but the more he thought about it the more he knew it was the truth. Zim was just trying to make his leaders proud just like he wanted with his own dad. 

Dib didn’t know why he couldn’t forget Zim despite it being years. He was still that weird kid that everyone thought was “crazy” because they weren’t open to the truth about paranormal science. He had spent so long trying to convince people that it was legitimate field, especially to his father, but no one really listened. But when Zim was around, at least he felt validated, because Zim was proof there were things out there. He had given him a purpose and as much as he wished it weren’t true, he needed him. 

But here Dib was, a senior in highskool desperately waiting to graduate. His alien hunting briefcase was currently sitting in his room, collecting dust. The notebook he had laid out in front of him was filled with doodles of cryptids, ghosts, and aliens. A fair of them, he had noticed were of Zim. 

So often Dib caught himself staring at the desk across of him by the door, occupied by some random student, knowing that was where Zim was supposed to sit. 

“Pay attention Dib,” the teacher, who strangely seemed to resemble Ms. Bitters, said as she approached his desk. “I despise being here any longer than I have to so now it’s one dentention before getting sent to the skool’s underground lair of infinite spikes instead of two.”

“Huh?” Dib said and the teacher hissed. 

Just then the door opened and as Dib turned he froze in his seat. His eyes were wide as he stared as the person entered the classroom. He was dumbfounded for he saw the very person he thought he would never see again.

Zim.

But Zim had changed since the last time Dib saw him. Zim was still his short self, however, though Dib didn’t remember him looking quite this short when he knew him at twelve. Perhaps he had just grown too tall. But Zim looked rather unusually disheveled. His hair was long which Dib wasn’t sure how was possible when it was a wig, his uniform had cheese stains and rips in them, and there were dark circles underneath his eyes. 

“What happened to you?” Dib asked as Zim entered the classroom.

“Do I know you?” Zim asked. 

Dib raised an eyebrow. “Of course you do...I’m Dib. How could you forget?” It felt like a stab to think he could’ve been forgotten.

“You’re a bit too tall to be this Dib,” Zim said. “And your head doesn’t seem as disturbingly large compared to the rest of your body.”

“I’m not twelve anymore Zim. I grew up and that means getting taller.”

“What kind of technology has allowed you to get taller? Tell me.”

“Puberty.”

Zim placed a finger on his chin. “I’ve never heard of this ‘puberty’ technology before.”

“Where have you been Zim? I haven’t seen you in six years.”

Zim paused as he glanced away. “It’s nothing your inferior mind would understand.”

“You found out your mission was fake, didn’t you?” Zim looked at him but remained silent. It made Dib feel uneasy to see Zim unable to say anything, it wasn’t like him.

Dib watched as Zim approached the boy who occupied the seat nearest to the door. He scowled and shoved the boy out of the seat as he said, “What are you doing in Zim’s seat?” 

Zim quickly took the now empty seat for himself. He looked a bit awkward in the seat, being a little too small to fit properly in the seat. He smiled and Dib shook his head. All those years have passed and Zim was still as self-absorbed as ever. He wondered why he should expect anything different. 

As the class drone on, Dib couldn’t help but glance at Zim. He didn’t seem to do much besides fiddle with his pencil. He never took notes but that was just how Zim had always been. It would be just like him to assume he would remember everything and pass whatever test came his way. But this wasn’t sixth grade anymore, and Dib doubted Zim knew anything about highskool.

When the class bell finally rang, Dib proceeded to leave the classroom, keeping a close eye on Zim. He stopped and turned towards the short green alien. 

“You really just...never left your house...for six years?” Dib said. “Don’t tell me you were hiding in a toilet again. What is it with you and toilets?”

“I was not hiding in a toilet...I was…,” Zim began. “...merely preparing.”

“Preparing for what?” Dib asked as he raised an eyebrow. 

“Eh…preparing to have icecream with the Dib human,” Zim said proudly. “And watch you suffer as you eat the delicious icecream which you cannot handle.” He laughed. “Yes, I’m very evil.”

Dib raised an eyebrow. “But..getting icecream isn’t evil.”

“Irrelevant, you are coming, yes?” Zim asked. He looked strangely eager.

Dib froze as he stared at Zim. Six years ago Zim would never have asked to hang out. He wondered what could’ve changed in him. He glanced at his PAK. Could there be something wrong with it? But it had appeared as it always had and it wasn’t like Zim was acting that different. 

For several moments Dib hesitated, wondering what he should say to Zim. Twelve year old him would never have agreed to do anything with Zim. But maybe eighteen year old him wanted to say yes and he wasn’t quite sure why. If this was the old Zim it would clearly be a trap but maybe it wasn’t with the new Zim. Could it be possible that deep within him he truly missed this rather annoying tiny green bug? And it was undeniable that a part of him was desperate to know everything that had happened after Zim had disappeared.

“I...suppose…,” Dib said. 

Zim’s POV

A while later Zim stood near the icecream stand, grasping onto the leash attached to Gir. He waited and waited until he finally saw Dib approach him. Despite having seen him earlier, it was still jarring to see the boy approach him. He had grown a fair amount since he had last seen him years ago and his hair spike had grown in length. He still wore a trench coat, but he was dressed far more darkly in his black jeans and tall boots. 

“You wanted to get icecream?” Dib asked. “I didn’t think you ate human food. After all you avoided even touching it in the school cafeteria back in the day.”

“I’ve grown accustomed to the filth while I was gone,” Zim explained. 

“I can’t believe I’m getting icecream with my enemy. What is this even about?”

Zim looked up at him. It was true, there was no reason for him to like Dib. He was simply a nuisance to him all those years ago. He could’ve done so much if it weren’t for Dib being in his way and yet, there was a part of him that was glad to have Dib back in his life. But that only frustrated him knowing there should be no reason for him to. 

Zim approached the icecream stand and said, “I demand one cone for the large headed boy, one cone for my dog Gir, and one for me.” He smiled. The person that stood at the counter groaned as she scooped the icecream before handing it over.

“If you did find out your mission was fake...then why are you even here, on earth?” Dib asked. 

“Perhaps the Tallest were ignorant to see how great I was but it means nothing,” Zim lied. 

Zim thought back to all those years ago where he stood there, watching the Tallest speak so poorly of him, clueless to the fact that they were still being broadcasted on his television.

“He still thinks his mission is real,” he remembered Tallest Red said in-between fits of laughter. “Can you believe it?”

“I know,” Tallest Purple said, joining in the laughter. 

For once Zim was paying attention and nothing dug deeper than hearing those words. How could it be possible that the Tallest had lied to him? How could he have disappointed his own leaders? And was this the reason the Tallest were never coming to him? It wasn’t that they had given up but they were never trying to begin with?

All he ever wanted was to be the greatest Invader and he wasn’t even an Invader. It was after that moment that all he wanted to do was disappear. So he did. For six years. He sat there, doing nothing but let Gir watch cartoons and stock on Zima [It’s an alcoholic beverage that’s been discontinued]. He even let himself consume whatever abomination Gir had given him. 

But then, just out of curiosity, Zim tried to check up on the Tallest and the Irken Empire but only received static. He had grown desperate and called Prisoner 777 who told him that there was a war going on somewhere out in the stars between the Resisty and the Irken Empire. 

“But shouldn’t I return to help my people?” Zim asked.

“I wouldn’t,” 777 replied. “You leave earth and it’s a death sentence. You see this poster?” He showed Zim a wanted poster with a crude drawing of Zim. “It says ‘Zim wanted for escaping the Trial. But don’t try too hard. I mean he is a million miles away so as long as he stays far away. Then it’s fine. But if he comes closer then he’s wanted.’”

“That picture looks nothing like me! They should’ve used a picture of my actual beautiful self.”

“That’s not the important part!” 777 said. “Just...stay away. Also about the situation about me being in jail-” But Zim ended the transmission before he could continue. 

Perhaps Zim couldn’t return to Irk but as he looked at the mess his lab and his home had become he realized he couldn’t stay hidden away forever. He had to find some new purpose and it was then he was reminded of Dib. As much as he disliked the boy he was the one who gave him a purpose. Perhaps he had disappointed the Tallest but Dib had once believed in him, even if he hated him. And so he decided from then on he was going to attend skool again. 

“I can’t believe I’m sympathizing with you but I understand what it feels like to not have someone believe in you,” Dib explained as he licked his icecream. “My dad never believed in me. He just thought I was ‘crazy’ and so did everyone else. Even the Swollen Eyeball Network thinks I am some joke.” He looked at Zim. 

“Ordinarly I would have laughed at the misery you have suffered but it seems I’ve grown less interested,” Zim said as he licked his icecream far too quickly and pain filled his head. “Aaargh!” He fell backwards. 

Dib shook his head. “You’re just as stupid as ever.” Zim stood up, refusing to acknowledge his comment. “I hope us getting icecream together doesn’t mean we are friends or anything.” 

“Friends?” Zim asked. “No one is worthy of being friends with Zim. And If I had these ‘friends’ you would not be among them.”

“Good,” Dib said but for whatever reason, there was a bit of disappointment in Dib’s eyes. Dib turned to leave before pausing. “Guess I’ll see you in skool.”

“See you, dib-stink,” Zim said. There was a part of him that wished he could’ve been by Dib’s side longer. But why? He didn’t need anyone...he shouldn’t need anyone. He was irken, he was supposed to be independent. And yet there was loneliness inside him that dug at him for those past six years. All he had was Gir who had terrible taste in television. But when he was there with Dib, that loneliness started to fade but it only returned when Dib left. 

He was eager for the next day to come because he knew it would be then that he got to see Dib again but it only filled him with shame to think so. And yet, no matter how hard he tried he couldn’t get rid of that feeling. Wasn’t the PAK supposed to get rid of these feelings? He had thought so and yet his PAK seemed to not be working quite right.


	2. Episode 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zim be stylish now

When lunch came the very next day, Zim stood there awkwardly in the middle of the cafeteria holding a tray of whatever mysterious garbage the low budget cafeteria decided to serve. He grumbled as he realized there were no empty tables, meaning he wouldn’t be able to sit by himself, far away from the other humans. He glanced at the other highskoolers, all of whom gave him disgusted looks as he approached and was quickly reminded of why he hated everyone in the disgusting skool. 

The one nearly empty table was where Dib and his sister sat, so Zim, knowing it was the one place he could sit, decided to sit across of Dib. Dib looked up from his tray, and looked taken aback as he stared at Zim.

“Don’t think I’m sitting here because I like you,” Zim said. “I just despise the other humans more.” He prodded at the goop on his tray and he could’ve sworn it moved. He never understood how anyone could digest that for he was sure even the Googidlians of Planet 69 would touch something this horrible.

“How pathetic that the only person who would sit with you is your childhood enemy,” Gaz said as she played on her Game Slave 3.1495.

“Hey, you’re sitting here too,” Dib pointed out.

“Only because this is the one spot I can play Dank Souls in peace,” Gaz said, not bothering to look up from her Game Slave.

“Are you just going to wear that cheese stained uniform everyday?” Dib said, staring at Zim’s uniform. “Do you just...wear the same thing everyday?”

“I have multiple identitcal uniforms, Dib-human, but yes they’re all cheese stained,” Zim said. He looked down at his uniform, crusty cheese still stuck to it. Perhaps he did need a change of clothes but it wasn’t like he could contact the Tallest and ask for a new uniform. 

“I suppose…,” Dib said as he waved his fork. “I suppose I could help you get new clothes. Just so I don’t have to smell that disgusting uniform.”

“And where do you propose to get an Invader’s uniform?” Zim asked. 

“No, like normal earth clothes.” 

“Me, wearing such ugly, inferior earth clothes?” The idea appalled him yet, he couldn’t deny the fact that he couldn’t keep wearing whatever he was currently wearing. “Show me where the source of these ‘clothes’ are and perhaps I shall consider...wearing them.”

And that was exactly what Dib did. Later that day Zim stood in the middle of the clothing store, bewildered by the amount and variety of clothing. It was far simpler on Irk where every Irken just wore the same outfit except for those who had theirs custom made, like skoodge for example, who had his custom made with grease stains.

“Uh…,” Dib said as he led Zim through the aisles. “I guess the children’s section would work for you best. I don’t think you could fit into anything else.”

“Zim is not a child!” He frowned.

Dib sighed. “It’s the only section that will fit you! Just...just deal with it.” He lead him towards the one section of the store where several child mannequins stood. Zim looked rather uneasy as he noticed the mannequins. Dib looked at him and shook his head.

“They’re just mannequins,” Dib said as he lead Zim further into the children’s section. He grabbed several items. “How does one even dress a four foot tall alien? I can barely find clothes to fit my five foot four self.” He shook his head. “This will have to do...also why am I always talking to myself.” He turned to Zim and pointed towards the changing room before handing him everything he grabbed. 

Zim looked up at him. “I shall try on these...earthen clothes.” He disappeared into the changing room and quickly changed into whatever Dib had given him. When he reemerged he was dressed in a safari hat, heart-shaped sunglasses, a pink skirt, a pair of crocs, and a t-shirt with the head of an alien that read ‘I’m just visiting.’

“Perhaps I don’t have any sense of fashion,” Dib remarked as he gawked at Zim standing there in his outfit.

“Can you not handle how fashionable I am to the human eye?” Zim asked. 

“Uh...maybe we should try something else,” Dib said. “I only know how to dress myself.” Dib grabbed a few more items and handed them to Zim. “Um...try this.”

Zim disappeared once again into the changing room and returned but this time he was wearing a magenta hoodie, black jeans, and black sneakers. He smiled as he wore the new outfit, his hands on his hips. But as he did so he noticed Dib’s cheeks turn a pinkish color.  
“I didn’t know humans could change colors,” Zim said but it only made Dib turn even more pink.

“Uh...it’s nothing,” Dib said as he held his hands to his face. 

“What are you hiding, Dib-stink?” Zim said. “Is this some weakness you don’t want me to know about?”

“It’s nothing Zim, stop asking,” Dib said. “It’s uh...a condition I have...some humans have. It happens randomly.” When Dib refused to explain further Zim made a mental note to himself to look this up later. “Can we just buy this outfit and leave?” He wondered why Dib was so insistent on leaving. Was he finally tired of his presence?

Hardly any words were exchanged as they left the store. Dib seemed to be avoiding glancing in his direction. He was desperate to know what Dib could be hiding and he was certain that it had to do with the fact he had turned pink. What could it possibly mean that Dib didn’t want to tell? 

And so later that day, Zim sat alone in his lab and Gir was busy playing with an actual pig that had somehow gotten into the lab. Zim, however, was completely unaware of the pig rummaging through his lab. 

“Computer, what does a human turning pink mean?” Zim asked. “I need to know.”

“A human turning pink is when blood rushes to a human’s face and is called ‘blushing’,” the computer explained. 

“Blushing?” Zim said. “And why would a human do that?”

“A human ‘blushes’ because they are either embarrassed or in love,” the computer said. 

“Of course, the Dib must’ve been embarrassed by the fact that he didn’t look as great as I in earthen clothes,” Zim said. 

“Uh…,” the computer said.

“That is why Dib didn’t want to tell me.” Zim smiled as he swiveled in his chair. “I will only continue to look fashionable tomorrow and oh, how jelly the Dib will be!” He stood from his chair and caught a glimpse of himself in the reflection of one of the glass tubes in his lab. He stood there, admiring himself.

But the longer he stood there, seeing himself in the outfit, the outfit Dib had picked out for him, a feeling he had never experienced before filled his squeedlyspooch. He stood there frozen, unsure of what this strange feeling could be, but it made him feel nervous and yet...strangely happy. And it was a feeling that came to him everytime he thought about Dib.

And yet, that feeling terrified him, for why did he feel this strange feeling for Dib? Why would it please him to be around the boy he had fought for so long, who had done nothing but annoy him? And if he felt this way what did it mean? He knew everything there was about Irk, after all it had all been downloaded into his PAK and yet he had never heard of this nervous, happy feeling one got around certain people. 

“Computer, run a diagnostic on my PAK,” Zim said. “Perhaps someone has hacked into it.” He temporarily disconnected his PAK and placed it against a metal slab where several mechanical tubes stuck out of. He hated how he always felt drained every time he disconnected it but it had to be done in order to figure out the issue and he knew it would take less than ten minutes. 

When the computer finished the diagnostic it announced, “PAK perfectly...well it never been ‘functional’ but uh...it hasn’t changed, Master. The PAK is running as it normally would.” 

“Yes, I know, there are a shmillion mistakes,” Zim said as he took the PAK and reconnected it. He sighed of relief as he felt rejuvenated as the PAK reconnected to his squeedlyspooch. “But that is why I would’ve made such a fine Invader. No one else could’ve handled so many mistakes in their PAK.” He smiled. “But if nothing has changed…” He looked up at the computer screen. “...then what is this feeling?”

Dib’s POV

Dib sat alone in his room, his eyes glued to the computer screen. He wished he had never suggested getting new clothes for Zim. He wasn’t sure why he even did, for he was supposed to hate Zim, not help him. And yet there was a desire for him to be with Zim that he couldn’t explain.

It was true, Zim was the closest thing to a friend he ever had. He couldn’t deny how happy he was to see Zim return, to know he had someone to pay attention to him again, even if it was just his old enemy. But were they really enemies anymore if there was no point? Zim no longer had his “mission” and he had no reason to stop him anymore. 

But now that they were acting more like friends, it made him feel things that he wished he could bury away. What about Zim that made him want him? He was a tiny, egotistical, green alien that once wanted nothing more to destroy his world. What part of that could possibly be considered desirable? And yet Dib had stood there in the store, looking at Zim, and feeling his face grow flush as he saw Zim standing there in the outfit he picked out for him. 

All these years, and there was no one that appealed to Dib quite like Zim did and he didn’t understand it at all. Sure he had a few crushes like the one on Tak he had all those years ago, but this, this felt so intense that he couldn’t hide it and he hated it. For Zim would never return his feelings, he would mock him, he was sure of it. But if Zim did feel the same way…

He shook his head, unsure of why he was even considering the possibility. Who falls in love with their enemy? It was ridiculous. 

"Fuck," was all Dib could manage to say.


	3. Episode 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zim and Dib go ghost hunting but things don't go to plan  
> that not good

“Son, you better not be doing any of your ‘ghost hunting’,” Professor Membrane said as he walked into the kitchen. Dib, who was busy sitting at the kitchen table, looked up at his dad as he fiddled with an EVP reader. 

Dib sighed. “I am doing legitimate study on ghost readings.” He grumbled. “But it’d be so much easier if I had a second person.” He looked at Gaz.

Gaz glared at him. “Nuh-uh, I am not going on any of your stupid ghost hunting adventures. Why don’t you ask your little boyfriend?” 

“What? I don’t have a boyfriend.”

“You hang out with Zim a lot.” Dib turned a bright red. He couldn’t deny that she was right, for after all Zim had only returned to skool a few days ago and already they hung out twice outside of skool. Perhaps in anyone else’s eyes that would at least read as ‘friends’. 

And perhaps it was true as kids everyone was convinced they were friends, even his own dad. He had wasted so much time trying to convince people they were really ‘enemies’ but was never able to convince them. Everyone thought it was just ‘play’ not knowing Zim was actually a threat. It frustrated him but now that he was older he could see why. Zim was the only person he ever hung out with. He remembered once someone pointing out they were constantly at each other’s houses.

Dib turned his attention toward his phone and began to scroll through his contacts, only to realize that the only contacts he had were his family, his boss, and...Zim.

He tried imagining what it would be like if Zim was there. Knowing him he could easily ruin his study and yet he knew he didn’t want to be alone. But it was what he was used to, always being alone on his paranormal expeditions. Even when things got dangerous, there was no one else to aid him. Even the few times he dragged Gaz along she did nothing but play on her Game Slave. He wondered if she would even bother rescuing him, though perhaps eventually she would.

Dib took in a deep breath before texting Zim. Perhaps it wouldn’t hurt just once to try. If it didn’t work he would simply never invite Zim again. Perhaps Zim wouldn’t even bother coming, for what did he really have to gain? But he never really expected Zim to invite him out for icecream or let him buy clothes either. It was strange how Zim felt both the very same and yet very different at the same time.

But to his surprise, Zim texted him back immediately with a photo of giant mutant rats eating a large sandwich with the caption “EXPERIMENT TO DESTROY THE HUMAN RACE” only to receive a message afterwards that said, “WRONG PHOTO”. Zim had then proceeded to send a photo of him, of course, giving a thumbs up. 

Dib gave a rather disgusted look but he knew it was likely an old photo, Zim had no reason to destroy the human race now that he knew the truth. And yet, it just made the situation feel stranger. What had things come to that would make him hang out with someone who would’ve once gladly rid the world of his kind? And yet he was doing it anyway because for once he was starting to see that there were perhaps...well not quite ‘humanity’ but something like that inside of Zim, no matter how evil he had pretended to be.

That night, Zim approached Dib as he fiddled with his ghost hunting equipment. They stood in the middle of an abandoned house, the walls cracked and the floors dusty. Etched on one of the walls was the lyrics to “Stayin’ Alive” next to drawing a disco ball. There was hardly any furniture in the room besides a torn up couch. 

Next to the living room was a small kitchen with rather ugly colored titles and grimy walls. The cabinets were askew, the oven was rusted, and the fridge contained no door. 

Zim approached him and scoffed at his equipment. “What is this inferior earthen technology?” Zim asked.

“It’s equipment for helping us find ghosts,” Dib said. 

“If I were to fix your inferior equipment we’ll be able to find the ghosts faster than any human technology could.”

“Please don’t,” Dib begged. “I don’t need you to do anything...just...be my backup in case something happens. I don’t know why I’m trusting you but I am.”

“I am only here because I am curious what this ‘ghost hunting’ involves. You should be grateful I’m offering my help.” 

“I don’t want your help if you’re just going to destroy my equipment!”

Zim forcefully grabbed the EVP recorder Dib held. “Behold as I improve your technology!” He reached into his PAK for his tools and began to work on the EVP recorder. 

“Give that back Zim!” Dib reached for it but Zim only turned away from him and continued to mess with his equipment. A few moments later and Zim held something that looked far more Irken. He smiled, proud of his new creation.

“What did you do, Zim?” Dib said, concern in his voice. 

“I simply made it better. Watch in amazement!” He pressed a button on the device and placed it on the ground. Dib watched in horror as Zim stood there, smiling. 

A whirring noise could be heard from the new contraption and the lights began to flicker. Dib rached for the device, desperately searching for the off button. 

“Who summoned me?” a voice echoed. A figure appeared, but its shape was still loose. The only detail that could be made out was the bell-bottom jeans the phantom wore. 

“Uh….uhhhh…,” Dib began, his voice shaky. “What’s...what’s your name?”

“Frank,” the voice said.

“How did you die?” 

“Drowning. It was quite tragic.”

“Where and when did you drown?” Dib stood there, every part of him shaking. Even Zim could feel how cold the room had grown. 

“I drowned in the ballpit of Bloaty’s in 1975.”

“In the ballpit? In Bloaty’s? That’s just...dumb.”

“Hey, I don’t mock you for the way you died!”

“I’m not dead.”

“Oh, nevermind then. But if you didn’t I wouldn’t mock you.”

“WHO ARE YOU!” Zim screamed. He wasn’t going to let a ghost terrify him for he was   
Zim. Of course he could handle something that wasn’t even alive, shouldn’t he?

“I just said I’m Frank.”

“WHO ARE YOU!” Zim repeated.

“What is wrong with your little green friend?”

“He’s not…” Dib stopped. “He’s just rather annoying.”

“Well anyway, feel my wrath for you have entered my house and you must leave now.”

The phantom’s shape began to form and his eyes turned black. He lifted his arms and the lights only continued to flicker as objects slowly began to rise.

“Are you scared now?” Frank said, his voice having dropped several octaves.

“Zim is never scared!” Zim shouted. “It is you who should be scared of me!”

Dib reached for Zim and said, “Zim! Stop taunting the ghost!”

Zim’s PAK legs extended outwards. “Face me Frank for I -” 

“ZIM! You’re going to get us both killed!” 

But it was too late. Frank’s eyes had turn red and slowly Zim and Dib began to rise just before flying across the room and landing against the hard wall. 

“I think I’ve broken my spine,” Zim said as he tried to lift himself. But with every movement he made, a jolt of pain filled his body.

“I think I’ve broken mine too,” Dib said as he remained there unmoving.

“I have so much more power I can show you,” Frank continued. The radio Dib had began to switch back and forth between channels as it blared in the background, his laptop started to glitch, and a blender could be heard from the kitchen. The ghost once again lifted Zim and Dib from where they stood and sent them flying towards the kitchen, slamming against the far wall.

“I wonder how cooked human would be,” Frank said with a sinister laugh as he lifted Dib just above the oven. The oven door swung upon as he was lowered towards it.

Zim looked up, panic filling him as he watched Dib being lowered towards the oven. He had convinced himself years ago he would never save Dib but as he watched he couldn’t bear the thought of losing Dib. Without him he truly would be alone on earth and as much as he wished it wasn’t true, there was a part of him that deeply cared for this human.

Zim stood, ignoring the fact his body was still screaming in pain and unleashed his PAK legs. He ran towards where Dib floated. Seconds before Dib landed in the oven, Zim quickly grabbed him and ran out of the house, abandoning the equipment. 

Zim stopped in the middle of the yard, still holding Dib. He knew he should be disgusted, he was holding a human, and not just any human but his once nemesis. And yet, here he was, desperate to hold him longer despite the fact that he was quite heavy to hold. 

Zim faked a disgusted look as he lowered Dib towards the field and his PAK legs returned. 

“Wait...you...just...did you really just save my life?” Dib asked. “You actually care about me?”

“Do not think I care about you, human,” Zim lied. “I did it so that I could harm you myself.” 

Dib paused. “Maybe everyone was right. Maybe we are...friends...in a way.”

“I would never be friends with you, Dib-stink.” He looked away.

“Hey, I don’t like us being...well I didn’t like us being friends. But maybe you’ve changed. And maybe I have to.” He paused. “Do enemies really go out for icecream together?”

“Of course they do!” Zim said. 

“No they don’t. That’s what friends do.” Zim thought for a moment. How could he admit to having a friend? Wasn’t he supposed to be independent? Didn’t he need no one? So why would he need Dib? And yet somehow he did.

He remembered the only time someone had called him friend and it was Skoodge. He wasn’t sure why, for he had placed him in danger multiple times just wishing for him to be gone. He had grown far too tired of Skoodge constantly following him and becoming quite fascinated by him. It had only frustrated him because he didn’t need anyone, certainly not Skoodge.

So why did he feel he needed Dib?

Dib stood from where he sat and turned towards the house, “I wish I had my equipment but I’ll have to get them tomorrow. Otherwise that’s a lot of wasted paychecks.”

“Paychecks?” Zim asked.

“I have a job, Zim, to pay for things,” Dib explained. 

“What kind of things?”

“Just things, Zim. Like all my ghost hunting equipment.” He sighed. “I’ll see you tomorrow I guess, sort of...friend.” 

“Friend?” Zim said, though it wasn’t exactly a question. It felt strange to say and strange to hear. He never imagined having a friend and certainly not Dib but here he was. And yet it didn’t seem quite enough to know Dib was his friend. As if there was an ache in him that wanted something more but he didn’t know what it was. 

He had already run the diagnostic on his PAK and it had found nothing new. But that didn’t mean there wasn’t something deep within his PAK that made him feel this way every time he saw Dib. But what it was, he didn’t know. What did it mean to want to hold someone, to never want to let go? What did it mean to always want to be around them and to feel this strange sense of caring for someone?

And if it was a mistake buried deep within his PAK why did it feel so natural? 

Dib’s POV

Dib laid in his bed, desperately trying to fall asleep but the thought of Zim saving his life kept filling his head. Twelve year old him would never believe Zim would do such a thing. And yet he had just done that. He had once believed Zim was nothing but evil and he had to be stopped, he could never be redeemed. But here he was, having his life just saved by Zim. Zim cared and most importantly he cared about him.

Dib covered his head with his pillow but it was pointless. He couldn’t sleep because he couldn’t stop thinking about Zim. And a part of him didn’t want to stop thinking about him. Because everytime he thought of him he got a rush of happiness. It didn’t even matter to him that Zim had messed with his equipment for he actually enjoyed Zim being with him. He trusted him for some reason and he was glad he did.


	4. Episode 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dib has trained the new employee...but it's Zim  
> Also somehow this leads to more pining yay!

“Dib, you’ll be training the new employee today,” his boss said as she headed towards the front crash registers. Dib looked at her and nodded though internally he was groaning. The last thing he wanted was to take responsibility for a new employee when all he wanted was just to get through the shift.

Dib’s boss quickly turned away from the cash registers and pointed over towards the sliding doors where a rather short and rather green person stood dressed in his uniform that was rather large on him. Dib groaned harder as he watched Zim approach him.  
“Why are you up to?” Dib said, raising an eyebrow.

“I require the earth moneys after Gir broke the television and I currently owe this ‘Grease King’ $432.15 for unpaid pizza dues,” Zim explained and he began to recall what had happened earlier.

Zim’s POV

Zim had been yelling at Gir as he sat there, watching that Floopsy show when the doorbell rang. He quickly put on his disguise and went to answer it, only to be greeted by a rather irritated pizza delivery person holding several pizzas.

“Gir, I told you not to order any more food,” Zim said as he turned to Gir who was ignoring him, his glowing blue eyes clearly fixated on the television screen.

“My boss said I can’t give you these pizzas unless you pay your overdue bill,” the delivery person explained.

“And how much exactly is this bill?” Zim questioned.

“$432.15,” the pizza delivery person. “And if you don’t pay it in two weeks we’ll have to send in the zombies. It was going to be sending you to a dimension of unimaginable pain but the rent was too high so we settled for zombies.”

“$432.15?” Zim exclaimed as he slammed the door in the pizza delivery person’s face. “Computer where does one get these earth moneys?”

“One earns money through selling their soul to corporate overlords otherwise known as ‘having a job’,” the Computer explained.

“Then I must obtain this ‘job’ so that I may this ‘bill’ before the zombies come,” Zim said as he gulped, frightened at the thought. 

Just then the television began to spark until it exploded. Zim glared at Gir who began to cry into his bag of cheesy nachos.

“I suppose I could get a new television too with this earth moneys so you can watch that ‘Floopsy show’,” Zim said in an irritated tone. 

Dib laughed and Zim glared at him as he asked, “What is so funny earth boy?”

“Just that you’re an alien invader, or at least used to be, who has to do something as mundane as getting a job,” Dib explained. 

“Do not laugh at me and I dislike that I have to take this ‘job’,” Zim said. “But the Tallest have cut off all supplies and my Invader stipend long ago.”

“Funny how you’re actually starting to blend in...besides the fact you're still green and stuff,” Dib said. “Just...don’t get any ideas...and destroy things this time.”

“All my ideas are brilliant, Dib,” Zim said but Dib only rolled his eyes. 

Zim approached Dib and Dib showed him the cash register he was standing at. Dib began to show him each step but Zim barely paid attention, assured that he could handle each step. 

“Zim are you even paying attention?” Dib said as he turned to him.

“Huh?” Zim said and Dib shook his head.

As a customer approached the check out line, Zim, curious, picked up the scanner and started pressing the button on it. Dib forcefully grabbed Zim’s hand. The touch surprised Zim and something about it made him nervous. He stared at Dib’s hand, wishing the feeling would go away. It was far too confusing to his Irken mind.

Meanwhile the customer stood there, eyebrows raised. Dib turned towards the customer, his face looking flushed.

“Eheh...um he’s a new employee,” Dib said as he released Zim’s hand. When Dib was finished taking the customer’s order Zim couldn’t help but stare at Dib’s hand once again. Why did he have a strange desire to hold it? Shouldn’t he feel disgusted? And yet there was still that lingering feeling that told him just for a moment.

And before Zim could stop himself he reached out his hand and touched Dib. Dib quickly turned towards Dib, his face turning a bright red, just like it did when he bought Zim his clothes. Dib looked at him with a dumbfounded look.

“Uh, Zim, what are you doing?” Dib said as he pulled his hand back.

Zim quickly withdrew his hand and said, “I wasn’t doing anything Dib-stink.” He turned away wondering why he did what he just did.

“Uh…, I have to...use the restroom...just...do what I taught you,” Dib said as he turned away, his face turned that familiar shade of red. Zim shrugged and took Dib’s spot by the cash register. It would be easy, he assured himself, but as he stared at the screen was left utterly lost. He really hadn’t paid attention to a single word Dib had said. 

Meanwhile in the bathroom Dib stared at himself in the mirror, swearing under his breath. It seemed so strange for all this to be happening. He remembered how Zim had reached to touch him only for him to look ashamed afterwards. Could it really be possible that Zim liked him? But how? 

He didn’t even think Irkens were capable of love, Zim had even told him that long ago.

But if Zim did like him it only made the situation worse. Because if Zim liked him it only made the feelings that flowed through him grow stronger. He had once told everyone that he wasn’t really interested in dating. And perhaps that was true back then but now, now there was someone on   
his mind that he couldn’t stop thinking about.

What would it even be like dating an alien? And not just any alien but Zim? He was someone who couldn’t shut up about himself, someone who far too often acted on impulse, someone who just appeared embarrisingly stupid at times for being ignorant of earthen ways. They were the very things that had bothered him about Zim and yet as time went on those things changed in his head. His ego turned to confidence, his impulsiveness turned to excitement, and even his ignorance seemed funny in a way.   
Just then Dib heard someone enter one of the stalls and start making bizarre noises for reasons Dib did not want to know, shaking him from being lost in thought. His smile quickly faded...wait he had been smiling? 

While Dib had been in the bathroom, Zim was furiously pressing buttons on the cash register as a huge line began to form. He had no idea what he was doing but surely if he kept pressing buttons something would happen.

“Aren’t you supposed to scan my items?” the customer across of Zim said. Zim picked up the scanner and kept pointing it at everything except the barcode until finally the customer annoyingly pointed at it.

With every new customer, Zim desperately tried to rush through the orders, feeling the tension growing. He was reminded of his time at Foodcourtia, ringing through so many angry customers who only pressured him to move faster. Oh, how he loathed to be made the one that had to   
serve others, it had only fueled his desire for others to be serving him for once. And he never understood why the customers weren’t grateful that he even helped them at all when they clearly didn’t deserve it.

“Just this pack of gum,” one customer said as she slammed it on the counter. Zim looked at her and noticed there was something familiar about her as if he had seen her years ago.

The girl turned to him and said in shock, “Zim?” 

“Who are you and how do you know my name?” Zim said as he pointed at her.

“It’s Tak,” the girl said. “Remember? You were the reason I couldn’t be an Invader and I tried to take your mission?”

“Tak?” Zim questioned. “Why are you here and what do you want?”

“Nothing this time, Zim, “ Tak said. “Except not to see your moronic face. There is no point anymore. The Tallests are gone and likely dead.”

“Dead?” Zim questioned.

“Yes, Zim, dead,” Tak said, gritting her teeth as she looked at Zim. “Though no one knows for sure. We lost the Massive. I’m only here so the Resisty can’t find me. This planet was never marked for conquest so the Resisty probably haven’t thought of searching here for Irkens either.” She handed him a dollar and some change before leaving.

Zim stood there wondering if Tak was telling the truth. How could something as great as the Irken Empire fall? And if it did what did it mean for him? Perhaps it didn’t really matter since he was cut off from them anyway. Perhaps Prisoner 777 would know more.  
It still felt strange enough adjusting to the fact he wasn’t welcome anymore by his own people. He felt he should care that they were in danger of disappearing, but he didn’t, he only felt betrayed by them. He just wanted to be recognized but they never did. 

He was told that the most important Irkens were the Tallest and so he told himself that one day he would be one, only to be left disappointed when he stopped growing and was still short. Why did height even have to matter? They told them the next best thing was to be an Invader and so he did everything to make sure he would be one only to find that rank stripped from him just when he thought he had succeeded. And when he was given a second chance it had all been a lie just to get rid of him. 

And now here he was, nothing more than a clerk at a mundane, earthen store.

Zim sighed in relief when Dib finally returned. The line had grown quite long and everyone was staring at him in frustration. Zim stepped aside as Dib resumed his spot and he watched as Dib handled the customers with ease.

Eventually the shift came to an end and Dib turned to leave. Zim looked up at him as he followed and said, “So...when does one recieve these earth moneys?”

“Every two weeks,” Dib explained.

“Two weeks?” Zim said, annoyed. “But that is exactly when the zombies from the Pizza place will come. And I can’t imagine what it would be like for Gir not to have his ‘Floopsy’ show for two weeks. I can’t wait that long!”

“I’ll loan you the money,” Dib offered. “You did save my life and all. I suppose I could go a little longer without buying new paranormal hunting equipment.” Dib stopped in his tracks as he looked at Tak. “Is that...Tak?”

“Yes.”

“What is she doing here? She isn’t here to destroy the earth again, is she? ”

“No, there is no point in that anymore.” Zim looked off in the distance.

“What happened, Zim? What aren’t you telling me?”

“Nothing of your concern, human.” The last thing he felt like doing was talking to anyone about what was happening. Acknowledging it would mean admitting everything that was happening these last six years were all real and that it was hurting him. Things can’t hurt you if you don’t   
acknowledge them, right?

“Why do I even bother asking,” Dib said. “The more time I spend around you the more I realize there is just so much you don’t say. I didn’t realize that at twelve but now I do.” He looked at Zim briefly before taking a few steps towards the front door. He stopped before turning back to Zim. 

“Uh...Irkens can’t feel love...right? I accused you of that years ago and you said yes...that was true right?”

“Of course Irkens can’t feel love,” Zim said.

“Which means you can’t feel love...right?” Dib said.

“Yes, I am incapable of love,” Zim lied. 

“That’s what I thought.” Dib walked through the front doors and Zim followed. Dib stopped once again and turned towards Zim. He looked as if he was about to say something but instead he said nothing and left.

Later that night Zim sat in front of his computer and waited until Prisoner 777 appeared on screen. 

“What is it Zim?”

“What is the current status of the Irken Empire?” Zim asked.

“I would know better if I wasn’t say...in jail...but…,” Prisoner 777 began. “...I haven’t been able to hack into the Massive. I have heard rumors that it uh...exploded...potentially with the Tallests in it.”

“So it is true,” Zim said. “The mighty Irken Empire…” Zim paused. “...how could it be possible?”

“I helped design the Massive, remember, and when I argued that they should put more resources into making better defenses rather than optimal snack storage I was laughed at,” Prisoner 777 explained. “Hey...uh...Zim are you alright? You look rather upset...I mean I suppose I should expect that. You did lose your people. I would feel the same if anything happened to the rest of the Vortians.”

Zim wiped away a tear. “Zim does not feel sadness.”

“I know you’re keeping me in here against my will and all but…,” Prisoner 777 said. “...in an odd way I consider you a friend. I mean you’re the only one I really talk to since you know I haven’t seen my wife in years and you were holding my voots hostage before you sent them back to Vort to attend school...which I appreciate that you at least value an education for them...” He paused. “...but what I mean is...I am here to listen, not that I have a choice in the matter.”

“What exactly is ‘love’ and what does it feel like?” Zim asked.

Prisoner 777 looked taken aback. “Uh...that’s an odd question...You know out of everyone, I expected that question coming out of you the least...It’s hard to describe.” He looked away briefly. “I mean I love my kids, they’re what gives me hope as I remain in this prison that you keep me locked up in. And I used to love my wife. Everytime we rubbed horns, I just feel this rush of happiness that makes me want more...but why do you ask?”

“Simple curiosity,” Zim said as he waved a hand.

“Love is just a universal feeling for most species, it is a shame that the Irkens no longer experience it. But it’s not something one really understands until they experience it.”

“A superior species doesn’t need love,” Zim objected as he turned to leave.

“I disagree,” Prisoner 777 said. “It’s better knowing there are people out there that care about you. I think. Anyway, I know I keep nagging about it but do you mind letting me out of-” But Zim once again ended the call.

The words ‘rush of happiness that makes me want more’ ran through Zim’s head. He thought for a moment. He had felt that rush of happiness every time he was around Dib and he had been craving more. But...no...it couldn’t be true.

How could it be? He kept telling himself that no, he can’t feel love. It was impossible. And he certainly would never feel love for Dib. And yet there was something within him that was nagging at him, telling him it was true. He reached for his antennas and pulled them back in frustration. There had to be a way to stop his feelings. And yet he almost wished he could’ve held Dib’s hand earlier, just to know what it was like. But why?


	5. Episode 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zim and Dib work on a school project but somehow it turns into something a lot deeper than that because this is fanfiction.  
> Also Skoodge and Tak make a brief appearance yay!

“Today you will all experience the horrible discomfort of being forcibly paired with classmates who will likely refuse to do any of the work leaving you with the burden of completing it on your own,” the teacher said. “You will also be forced to present this in front of the class and watch as your group members take credit for all the work you rushed to complete a day before its due, nearly collapsing from the stress.”

“Is there any possible way for us to complete this assignment on our own?” Dib asked, panic filling his voice. The teacher approached him, bending her body in unnatural ways just as Ms. Bitters had.

“No,” the teacher said simply before retreating to behind her desk. “Now before I leave you to choose your partners and be horribly embarrassed when no one chooses you, I would like to introduce our new classmates.” 

Dib looked up as the door swung open revealing Tak and some short, pudgy boy who he didn’t recognize. He raised an eyebrow as Tak entered the classroom and took one of the empty seats near Dib while the boy sat in a desk beside her.

“What are you doing here?” Dib said. “Here to destroy my planet, again?”

“I’m not here for any of that, Dib,” Tak said. She leaned back in her chair. “I just have nothing better to do than attend your stupid school.”

“Go, find your partners,” the teacher said. Everyone immediately headed towards their friends, gathering in groups of four, until all that was left with Zim, Tak, the new boy, and Dib. Dib groaned and headed towards Zim, hoping that for once Zim wouldn’t do something stupid and ruin the group project.

“I guess it’s just us four,” Tak said as she approached them. 

“Oh hey Zim, it’s me Skoodge,” the boy said as he approached them. “Tak made me this disguise.”

“Skoodge?” Zim said. “You're here too?”

“Of course and I’m here to do whatever needs to be done for the group project,” Skoodge said proudly.

“And for this group project,” the teacher said. “You’ll be designing a catapult to carry this tennis ball designed to self destruct…” The teacher lifted a small tennis ball with wires sticking out of it. “...preferably far enough away as to not destroy the entire class. Far worse, you’ll also be giving a short presentation. Do try and remember last year’s incident with the chemistry teacher before we are permanently banned from the project and students will have to resort to the ‘staring at a wall to see how long it takes paint to dry’ group project. Understood?” Everyone nodded their heads. 

“Me and Skoodge will handle the presentation,” Tak said. 

“You decided that rather...quickly,” Dib pointed out.

“I just want to see how long it’ll take for Zim to design a catapult so horribly that it’ll somehow kill both of you.”

“Hey, did you forget that both me and Zim were the ones who stopped you all those years ago?” Dib said. “We’ll be fine.”

“By some sheer luck when both of you are idiots,” Tak said. 

“Zim’s not an idiot,” Skoodge objected.

Tak rolled her eyes. “Skoodge, I don’t even know why you trust Zim. But of course you would, you seem...oddly fascinated by the bastard.”

When the bell finally rang, Dib turned to Zim, “You already know where I live. Just...try not to destroy anything, including our grade.”

“My ingenious will ensure that our grade is higher than anyone else’s in the class,” Zim said.

“It’s not a competition, Zim,” Dib said with a sigh. “Let’s just get this project over with.” 

“Good luck,” Tak said sarcastically as she left with Skoodge trailing behind her. Dib shook his head, wondering why did he ever have a crush on her when he was twelve. But he knew he would probably have crushed on anyone who actually listen to him talk about the paranormal.  
Dib stepped out into the hallway and immediately noticed a poster hanging on one of the lockers announcing this school’s prom in several days. He ignored it, knowing it wasn’t likely he was going to attend.

“What is this prom?” Zim asked as he looked up.

“It’s where people go to dance and be stupid,” Dib explained in a disgusted tone. 

“And what is this prom queen and king?” Zim asked as his eyes focused on the poster. “How do I become ruler of this prom?”

“They hold a vote. It’s just a stupid popularity-”

“I must attend this prom and become ‘prom queen’.”

“You mean ‘prom king’.”

“What’s the difference?”

Dib shook his head. “Guess I have to attend this prom now, just to make sure you don’t do anything stupid. Ugh.” He knew he would rather do a million other things than attend ‘prom’ like work on his paranormal research or perhaps go bigfoot hunting but now he had to keep an eye on Zim. But perhaps it wouldn’t be so bad if Zim was there.

Zim’s POV

That night Dib and Zim stood in Dib’s bedroom as they began planning a catapult design, or at least tried to. Zim grew frustrated with every idea Dib had, he was sure he could build a far better catapult than any human could.

“Zim, this is a group project,” Dib objected. “Why couldn’t I be teamed up with anyone else?”

“I have to agree with you that I also rather be teamed up with anyone else,” Zim said. “Someone who recognizes my ingeniousness.”

“I just wish for once you would listen to someone other than you!” Dib objected. “I’ll admit you do sometimes...come up with clever stuff...but sometimes you just...don’t think...things through.” 

“I am glad you finally acknowledge that I do come up with clever ideas.” He placed his hands on his hips, trying to look proud though the truth was, there was something different about hearing a compliment from Dib. Almost as if it meant more.

They worked for a while, not accomplishing much as they debated over every step. Dib started to yawn and he turned towards Dib and said, “I think it’s time we call it a night.”

“But we haven’t finished.”

“Perhaps you’ve forgotten but humans need sleep.”

Usually Zim would’ve laughed at the patheticness of ‘needing sleep’ but it was just frustrating now. He wasn’t nearly ready to wrap up the project.

“Anyway, goodnight Zim,” Dib said as he headed towards his dresser but Zim stood there, suddenly overwhelmed with the feeling that he didn’t really want to leave, not quite yet. Even through all the arguing he somehow appreciated Dib’s presence. He remembered how it felt like there was something missing all those years and suddenly that feeling melted away every time he was around Dib. Even back when they were younger and had done nothing but torture each other there was something painful about having Dib not in his life, as much as he tried to ignore it. Irkens weren’t supposed to miss people.

“Uh,” Dib said as he turned. “I need to change Zim. You have to leave.”

“Perhaps Zim could stay the night,” Zim said. “To continue working on the project while the Dib sleeps.”

Dib froze in place as he looked at Zim. “You want...to stay?” He paused. “I....suppose. But can you uh...not stand there...while I change. Just because you're a different species doesn’t mean I want you...watching.” 

“Eh...All right.” Zim finally turned to leave the room. And so that night Zim stayed there, working on designing the catapult as Dib slept. It was one of the many advantages of having a PAK Zim knew, that as long as he kept it charged he didn’t really need to sleep. How odd, he felt, that humans needed to do this every night. How inconvenient it must be, but he mostly wondered how they dealt with the dreams. But perhaps they never had dreams like he did, dreams that forced him to face his fear of being a disappointment, of being far too...flawed. 

Curious, Zim headed towards where Dib slept. He looked at him, the fact that he mentioned he was clever ran through his head. No one had ever called him that before, besides well, himself. And it felt nice, to finally feel recognized.

And then a strange thought passed his mind, of what it would be like to lay there, by Dib’s side. He wished he could lay there, even if it was only for a little while. He poked Dib, waking him from his sleep. 

Dib, his eyes half open, said, “Zim, what is it? I’m trying to sleep.”

“Perhaps my PAK is low on charge,” Zim lied. “I require the human move over, so I can sleep.”

Dib raised an eyebrow. “You want to...sleep here?” 

“A bed is more comfortable,” Zim said.

Dib moved over to the side of the bed. “I guess you can sleep here. I mean I don’t have another bed for you.”

And so Zim took off his disguise and struggled as he crawled onto the bed. Dib glanced at Zim briefly before closing his eyes and quickly falling back asleep. Zim laid there when just then Dib moved closer to him in his sleep and reached with his arm. He began fumbling around with his arm, touching Zim as he slept, until finally he relaxed. Zim felt flushed as his arm held onto him, and he could see the smile upon the sleeping Dib’s face. 

What were these feelings, Zim wondered. It was as if he had been craving this all his life without him knowing. He wanted to be touched, but not by anyone, but by Dib. He reached with his arm, though it was a bit harder when his arm was shorter than Dib’s. He was gentle, knowing that he could easily accidently dig into Dib’s flesh with his clawed hand. How strange it was, to touch a back and not feel a PAK there. 

Zim had grown so comfortable as he laid there that he started to fall asleep. And so he dreamt for the first time in a long time.

In his dream he stood there on a platform raised far above the Irkens below. Across from him were the two tallests, standing on their platforms as they gazed at him. Zim looked down at his arms where there were heavy bracelets that held them together. He looked up at the Tallest, Tallest Red scowling at him while Tallest Purple munched on burrito.

“Look at him, a shame to the empire,” Tallest Red said. 

“Yeah, imagine falling in love,” Tallest Purple said in between bites of his burrito. 

“But my Tallest,” Zim said. “Zim does not love, I am just as incapable of love as any other Irken. It has been decoded out of me.”

“But you're defective,” a booming voice said behind him. Zim turned and the control brains emerged from the darkness. “Always have been. “And therefore weak and capable of love.”

“Get rid of the defective!” the audience below him began to shout. “Get rid of the defective! For he is weak.”

“What, Zim is not weak!” Zim shouted as he turned. “I need no one! No one! I don’t know what love is! I would never experience such a human emotion.”

“Weak!” the audience continued. “Weak! Weak! Weak! And defective!”

“I’m not defective,” Zim said as he fell to the floor. “I’m not defective. I’m supposed to be great.” Suddenly the room began to shake and screams from the other Irkens filled the room. In a split moment a laser tore through the room, tearing it apart and obliterating everyone but Zim. Zim turned and the Control Brains began to split open, exposing their inner workings. 

“You’ve always known you’re defective,” the Control Brains said in their final moment. “So why did you always lie?”

“I’m not...I’m…,” Zim said. “I don’t know.” He looked around at the fallen Irkens, their bodies broken and bloodied. In a moment everything vanished leaving just Zim in an empty room. He looked out and saw Dib standing there, facing him.

He ran towards Zim as Dib approached him. Dib reached down to hold him and leaned in for a kiss when just then...

The dream ended. 

Dib's POV

Dib finally awoke, startled to see across of him was a tiny green alien. He became even more startled when he realized his arm happened to be around this very tiny green alien. And yet, for whatever reason he didn’t want to let go. 

His heart was beating faster, his emotions burning in his chest. A part of him craved to pull Zim closer to him. He wanted nothing more than to lay here with Zim by his side. But it just felt too confusing. Why Zim? Why an alien? He wasn’t attracted to aliens, was he? Or perhaps he wasn’t except for Zim, that somehow Zim made him forget that they really were two different species. That somehow despite the fact that Zim came from a distant planet with a culture very different from his own didn’t matter. 

Dib absentmindedly started touching Zim’s antenna, feeling the strangeness of it in his hands. Zim awoke with a startle and smacked his hand away.

“Oh...uh... I don’t know why I was doing that, sorry,” Dib said as he glanced at his hand, horrified. He shifted over to the far side of the bed. “I’ve been doing weird stuff in my sleep I guess. It’s not like I wanted to cuddle you, that would be weird.”

“And I would never think of touching you either, Dib-filth,” Zim said as he sat on the bed and faced the other way. 

“And uh…,” Dib began nervously. “It would also be kind of weird...if um...if I asked that we could go prom together...but you know as a friend thing…” He looked at Zim briefly before turning away. “But I would never ask that because why would I.”

“Zim might like to go prom with the Dib-stink,” Zim said. Dib turned bright red. He didn’t know how to respond for he never expected Zim to say yes. But he also never expected to find Zim holding onto him as he slept. How was it possible that Zim might actually like him back? It went against everything he thought he knew about Irkens.

Dib stood up and headed towards the dresser before taking off his pajama shirt revealing the fact there were faded scars on his chest. He turned to Zim and said, “I suppose it might be important to tell you that I’m trans...if that matters to you.” Zim looked up at him in confusion. “I guess you wouldn’t know what that means. Basically I was assigned female and then I did stuff so now I...uh...don’t look like that anymore. Ugh, I’m terrible at explaining.”

“Perhaps for once I understand you, Dib,” Zim said as he looked up at Dib as he kicked around his feet. “I was once considered this ‘female’.” He gestured. Dib raised an eyebrow, dumbfounded. He was unsure of what to say for he didn’t even think Zim would understand let alone share his experience. So Dib just simply smiled.

“So...uh...about the design for the catapult…” Zim pointed towards his desk where a pile of papers rested. Dib headed towards them and picked them up, studying them. He squinted his eyes, struggling to figure out what Zim’s drawings were. It didn’t help that the only text contained on the page was entirely in irken.

Dib turned to Zim and said, “You do realize I can’t read irken?”

“You won’t need to, Zim can handle all of this,” Zim said.

Dib groaned.


	6. Episode 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dib and Zim go to prom and it gets really gay, yeehaw.

“How’s that project with you and Zim going, partner?” Tak said, her feet resting on the desk behind him.

“Rather well, actually,” Dib said with a scowl. “We’re nearly finished.”

“And both of you haven’t died yet?” Tak said as she readjusted in her seat. “Shame.”

“The presentation has been going well for us too!” Skoodge said proudly. “Have you seen the amount of cool effects they have in earthen programs? I have to admit being here on earth has been way cooler than being on planet Blorch nearly getting alive at every turn by the slaughtering rat people.”

“It is pretty easy to do something with someone who never questions anything and just do what you want them to do,” Tak said. “So the opposite of Zim.” She glared at Zim and turned towards Dib. 

Dib leaned in his chair. “And to think I ever thought you were cool.”

“I still am cool,” Tak said. “Yes you were fascinating to listen to once. How could I not be when your the only human who actually saw through Zim’s stupid disguise. And all this paranormal stuff that exists on your planet. I figured I might as well learn whatever you were going to tell me before I destroyed you and everyone else.” 

“That part was definitely not cool,” Dib said.

“How long exactly do you plan on staying here, Tak?” Zim said. “This planet was insufferable enough before you came back.”

“As long as I need to,” Tak replied. Just then the bell rang. “Ah, finally free of you two idiots. Come on Skoodge.”

“See you at the prom, Zim!” Skoodge said cheerfully.

“The prom?” Zim asked. “That is tonight?”

“Yuh-huh!” Skoodge said. “You’re going right?”

Zim looked up Dib briefly. “Yes...I am.”

“Great!” Skoodge nudged him. “See you then.”

Later that night, Dib glanced in the mirror and straightened his bow tie. It seemed hard to believe that he actually agreed to go to prom with Zim, what was he thinking? But his head was so overwhelmed with thoughts that night after realizing he had been holding onto Zim that he just couldn’t think clearly. And yet something inside him was pulling him closer to Zim. 

Dib left his room and walked down the steps, dressed in a suit and bow tie. His sister glanced at him and shook her head.

“You, going to prom?” Gaz asked. “I thought you said it was stupid.”

“I...uh...changed my mind,” Dib said.

“And what lucky girl is my boy taking to prom?” his father asked.

“I’m not taking any girl,” Dib said.

“Boy then?” his father asked.

“Sort...of…,” Dib said just as the doorbell rang. He headed towards the door and opened it, revealing Zim standing there in a pink, sparkly dress.

“What...are you wearing?” Dib asked.

“I researched these proms and found you humans wear ‘dresses’ while attending,” Zim explained.

“Girls wear prom dresses...you know what screw gender roles,” Dib said as he shook his head. “You can wear a dress if you want to. But does it have to look like something someone would wear to their tenth birthday party?”

Zim looked down. “I picked a dress I thought was worthy of being worn by me.”

Dib shook his head but he smiled anyway. “Let’s just get to prom.”

Zim’s POV

Zim felt immediately overwhelmed as he entered the venue. The whole place stunk of human who were all dressed in tuxes and dresses. There was a white clothed table at one end filled with refreshments and a DJ playing in the far end.

Zim barely looked at Zim as he entered, nearly regretting his decision as he watched the humans dance with one another. He fixed his wig, that was actually neat for once, and looked up at Dib.

“So, what do humans do at these...dances?” Zim asked.

“Well, dance,” Dib said bluntly. 

“I thought you hated Zim once,” Tak said as she approached Dib. She wore a suit and a pair of heels, giving off a certain powerful energy. “But then you teamed up with him to defeat me, have been defending him in your group project, and now you’re taking him to prom?”

“Are you jealous or something?” Dib asked.

“Not at all,” Tak said. “Just surprised.”

“Oh hey, Zim,” Skoodge, who stood next to Tak, said. “Nice dress.”

“Ah, yes, I do look rather stunning in this dress,” Zim said with a cocky smile. 

Dib glared at Tak before turning to Zim. “How about we...uh...dance...somewhere farther away from Tak.”

“So what does a dance involve?” Zim questioned.

“I guess you...um...take someone like this…,” Dib said as he awkwardly placed one hand on Zim and another on his shoulder. “And you just kind of move with the person.” They moved back and forth across the dance floor. 

“What exactly is the point of this?” Zim asked. “To dance?”

“I don’t know, it’s just what people do,” Dib said. Zim shrugged and continued to dance, if only to continue to appear normal. And it was pleasant, just to be there being held by Dib. He kept looking up at Dib’s face and thought back to all the research he had done on human proms   
before he came there.

He remembered sitting in his lab, videos on screen as the computer read him all the information it had on ‘proms’. There had been a lot of ‘dancing’ that he cared little about but what interested him was the one video he saw. He remembered leaning in his chair as he watched two humans kiss right after slow dancing with each other. And it was at that moment he wondered what it would be like to kiss Dib.

And so Zim leaned in closer to Dib and said, “I wish to find out about this ‘kissing’.” Dib turned a bright red upon Zim saying that.

“You want to kiss?” Dib said. 

“For research reasons of course,” Zim said as he waved a hand.

Dib stopped dancing. “What are we? This is just happening so fast. First we were enemies, and then sort of friends, and now...I need to think.” 

“I need to know.” Zim stood on his toes. 

“Maybe just one kiss…” But as soon as he said that Zim was already lifting himself up, pulling Dib closer to him. He pressed his lips against Dib, feeling how strangely soft humans felt. He wrapped his arms around Dib, holding him tight against him, as he remained there. All those emotions he had once felt only burned harder inside him. 

This was what love felt like. Zim knew that for sure now. It scared him to think he could experience something like this but he couldn’t deny it, it felt far too real. He was never one to wish to be touched, in fact he rather hated it, but with Dib, it was different somehow.

For a moment it seemed like Dib had relaxed in his arms, but just then he felt Dib push him away. Zim felt disappointed when he no longer held Dib, wishing he could’ve stayed there for longer. He had never seen Dib so bright red before.

“I…,” Dib began. “I need to use the restroom.”

Dib’s POV

Dib dashed across the dance floor until he made it to the far wall where there were bathrooms. He pushed the door open and immediately ran towards the sink. He looked up at himself in the mirror and he could see just how flushed he had grown.

He looked at the door, a part of him wanting to leave and be with Zim again but another part of him didn’t want to face the confusion he felt. What was he doing, taking an old nemesis to prom and falling in love with him? It wasn’t how things were supposed to go, at least he thought so. Couldn’t he just reverse the clock and go back to when they were twelve and all he cared about was stopping Zim.

Dib had once so confidently said he didn’t love Zim, that he wasn’t his friend, and now he could never say things now. Or perhaps it hadn’t been as confident as he thought. Maybe he always knew that they weren’t really ever truly enemies, at least not in the genuine sense. They fought, yes, but they needed each other, and enemies don’t need each other, friends do.

He straightened his tie and left the bathroom and he noticed everyone staring at him. Maybe they were staring at him before, he wasn’t sure, but he felt so panicked before he didn’t notice.

“Did you just kiss the green kid?” his classmate Zita said. 

“I always knew those two freaks would end up together,” his other classmate Jessica said.

Dib noticed Zim standing there, alone, looking rather anxious as people continued to stare at him. 

Dib approached Zim and said, “We can leave early.”

“Zim would like that,” Zim said before taking Dib’s hand and being lead out. Dib kept his head down as he avoided the crowd of people and ignored every mention of his or Zim’s name. When he finally left through the front doors he was stopped by Tak and Skoodge.

“I always knew Zim was a defective, everyone in Irk knows, but I didn’t think it was this bad,” Tak said. 

“Zim was simply experimenting to learn of this disgusting human behavior,” Zim said.

“You're such an idiot,” Tak objected. “You seemed rather into it to be ‘experimenting’. The only disgusting thing is you.”

“Shut up Tak,” Dib objected. 

“Go run off with your little Irken boyfriend, human.” Tak took a step closer, her heel smacking against the concrete. 

“Maybe I will. You’re just jealous because you can’t feel love.”

“I’m not jealous. Why would I…”

“I don’t think Zim did anything wrong,” Skoodge said. 

Tak scowled. “You’re just as stupid as he! I see the way you oogle over him. You probably were in love with him. Gross. Gross. Gross!” She shook her head. “But I don’t even understand. You aren't defective, or at least you aren’t suppose to be, just...short.” 

Skoodge stood proudly. “And the first to conquer his planet.”

“Then maybe it isn’t a defective thing,” Dib said. “Maybe Irkens are supposed to feel love.”

“No they aren’t!” Tak said as she waved her arms. “Skoodge, let’s get out of here before I attempt to kill Zim and Dib again.” She stormed out there, Skoodge following behind her.

Dib turned to Zim who was now sitting near a puddle in the middle of the parking lot, staring at his reflection. He approached him and knelt down.

“I don’t want you defending me dib-stink,” Zim said. 

“It’s what bo...it’s just what friends do,” Dib said as he reached a hand towards Zim but was only left disappointed when Zim didn’t take it. 

“I don’t understand this either,” Dib said. “But I don’t think we can deny that we like each other. At least not anymore.”

“I don’t like anyone,” Zim said with a scowl. “Certainly not you.”

“But you just kissed me?” 

Zim stood up and ignored what he said. “Irkens don’t feel love and neither do I.” He turned and left. Dib tried to catch up to him but when Zim noticed, his spider legs extended from his PAK, carrying him off into the distance. 

“Guess I’ll...just go home and watch Mysterious Mysteries or something,” Dib said as he turned to leave. He hoped Zim would end this shmoopyness soon. He felt overwhelmed with all the feelings he had stirring inside him. He needed a release and the only way to do that was with Zim. It was almost funny in a way, that he had spent his entire life chasing the paranormal but he never thought he would fall in love with someone who was paranormal.


	7. Episode 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kind of shorter than usual but aaaaahhh they be gay.

Dib leaned on his elbows as he stared at the classroom blackboard. He looked across the room and noticed Zim’s seat was empty. He turned to his paper but he was only left feeling exhausted when he read the words, “If a train is going 600,000 miles per hour and another train is traveling from Chicago to Tokyo, what’s Jim’s full name?” How was one supposed to answer that?

“You do know that the catapult project is due today?” Tak said as she approached Dib.

“Wait, shit it is?” Dib said startled. 

Tak shook her head. “You forgot? You two really are idiots.”

“Hey, maybe I would’ve finished if you didn’t have to…,” Dib said with a scowl. “Just be you that night at prom.”

“Zim is just an embarrassment, he needs to learn,” Tak said. 

“Why are you and my sister always so needlessly rude!” Dib said as he threw up his arm. “Maybe the two of you would actually get along.” 

“I’m just the right amount of rude.”

“As I’ve mentioned before,” the teacher interrupted. “Today is the day you will presenting your projects that I would hope were not constructed a night previous in an attempt to salvage whatever you had left of your pathetic grades. Follow me outside so that you can embarrass yourself when your catapult that you have lost sleep over inevitably explodes.”

Dib sighed as he followed the rest of the class. At least he was nearing graduation anyway otherwise he would be far more panicky that his grade was going to suffer because of this.

When the class arrived outside in the football field each one of them took their turns but most of the catapults didn’t carry the ball that far. In fact it was rather sad to watch. But at least they had one, Dib thought, for he had nothing to show.

But then to Dib’s surprise Zim ran towards him holding a strange cube and dark circles underneath his eyes. 

“I have returned with the catapult,” Zim said surprisingly unenthusiastically as he placed the cube on the ground. The cube immediately unfolded itself and formed into a rather large catapult complete with the irken insignia. Luckily the other students seemed far too oblivious to notice   
the fact the catapult was clearly made of alien technology.

The teacher made her way closer to Zim and handed him a tennis ball. Zim confidently placed it in the strange contraption. Not a moment later the machine started whirring and launched the tennis ball across the fields, past the houses, and vanished into the distance.

“I didn’t quite expect that,” the teacher said. “Since your ball did go the farthest and you haven’t managed to take out any chemistry teacher’s eyes, you get an A.” Dib sighed in relief.

“You actually made something that didn’t go terribly wrong,” Dib said. 

“Of course I did,” Zim said. “You shouldn’t have doubted me.”

“So uh...about that night at prom…,” Dib said and Zim went silent. “Oh...I shouldn’t discuss it. Maybe it’s best we ignored it. I don’t even know what I’m doing.” As he spoke the rest of the class made their way towards the school building while he and Zim remained. “Maybe it was dumb of   
me to let things get this far. We’re not supposed to be together, are we?”

Zim reached up and grabbed Dib’s sleeve pulling him closer. “I don’t really care, Dib.” He stood on the tips of his toes as he leaned in closer to Dib. “If anyone is worthy of having the great honor of being my love-pig it is you.” 

“In all my life I never thought I would say this...but...I love you too, Zim,” Dib said as he lowered himself so he could gaze into Zim’s eyes. And for once he didn’t hesitate, he just let himself wrap his arms around Zim before pressing his lips against his. This time Dib didn’t push away, he just let himself enjoy it.

Zim released his hold and said, “I demand that you meet me after school human love-pig, there is much for us to discuss.”

Dib nodded, though he wasn’t sure what to expect. But who knew what one could expect with Zim.

Zim’s POV

That night Zim stood at his door as he lead Dib inside his home and through it until they arrived just outside the trashcan. He opened the lid and waited but noticed Dib’s hesitation.

“Zim, I don’t think I-,” Dib said but Zim was already helping to shove him in. Dib screamed as he entered and Zim quickly slid himself in. 

A moment later Zim landed just beside Dib on the elevator and slowly rode down until they reached his base. Zim reached out and grasped Dib’s hand. It felt odd to him just how many fingers humans had and without any claws either. But as strange as it felt, it somehow felt very   
natural to just hold Dib’s hand in his, as if this was how things were always supposed to be.

Zim lead Dib towards his computer before pressing a button on his control panel. On screen a video appeared but Zim quickly looked away. Still, it was hard to hear the audio, knowing exactly what happened in that video.

He remembered when Prisoner 777 had sent him the video and said, “I have to warn you, I’m not sure you want to watch this. I’ve recovered this from one of the vortian ships and uh...it’s to do with the fate of the Irken Empire.” And so Zim slid the disc in and saw as the recording showed the entire Irken Armada slowly getting obliterated, leaving nothing but debris and a hoard of snacks. Soon afterwards the video switched to on-board the vortian ship where several Resisty members celebrated.

But the video didn’t end there. Zim watched as his home planet appeared on screen, fire burning through the streets as lazers brought down buildings and tore through the screaming Irkens. It wasn’t long before the streets became emptier, with nothing left but burnt flesh and pink blood.

It was a horrifying sight that made Zim regret watching and he had seen many things in his life. So it was the outcome of the war and there was no one left besides Tak and Skoodge, at least that he knew of. He had never felt quite so...alone. 

“Did anyone survive?” Zim asked Prisoner 777 when he finished the video.

“Possibly some of the Invaders who weren’t finished with their assignments like Invader Tenn,” Prisoner 777 said. “But I’m afraid not many others survived.” 

Zim wasn’t sure what to think. His entire species, or at least most of them, wiped out. Galactic conquest didn’t even matter anymore because there was nothing. The Irkens had lost, they had truly lost. And all those people had grown up with, were gone.

But maybe it didn’t matter, they had called him a defective and had never truly appreciated him. Even during his time on Irk they had thrown him from one position to another. His fear that one day they would just give up on him entirely only grew. Maybe his ability to somehow cause mass destruction did impress them to a certain point even if it did end up ruining everything. 

He often wondered what that feeling was that made him fear that he was disappointing everyone. He never heard any other Irken talk about it. And yet it was a feeling that lingered in him so he denied it. Because it felt so much better to say he was perfect than a defective.

“So they’re gone,” Dib said as he looked at Zim who nodded. “And to think I once waited for this day but now I just feel terrible. I’m sorry...Zim.”

“They were not worthy of me,” Zim said. “Anyone who thinks of Zim as nothing more than a defective is just foolish and stupid.” He shook his fist.

“There’s nothing wrong with you, Zim,” Dib said. “I’m kind of glad you aren’t like the rest of your war-hungry...and snack-hungry...species.” He poked Zim. “You're the only alien I would ever want for a boyfriend.”

“And I will gladly give Dib the honor of being my ‘boyfriend’,” Zim said. 

“Guess we’re both defective in a way,” Dib said as he looked off into the distance briefly. “Everyone thought I was weird and crazy for believing in the paranormal, even my own dad, and I just wanted everyone to believe me.” He looked at Zim. “But it doesn’t matter when anyone else thinks.” 

He reached out his hand. “We can be two ‘freaks’ together I guess.”

Zim reached out his hand to take Dib’s. It felt strange to finally admit to himself that he was in love with this human who had once done everything to stop him, but he was the only one who ever really understood him.


	8. Episode 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ***SKIP THIS CHAPTER IF YOU DON'T WANT NSFW YOU'VE BEEN WARNED***

Weeks had gone by and it wasn’t long before the two of them were spending quite a lot of time at each other’s homes. It was a struggle for Zim not to resort back to telling Dib not to touch anything in his lab, perhaps it was just a force of habit. And yet, it wasn’t as hard of an adjustment as Zim thought, for every time he was Dib, he sometimes forgot they were ever enemies.

One night, Dib laid on the couch in Zim’s house as Zim sat next to him. “Mysterious Mysteries” was playing and Zim was simply glad to watch anything besides what Gir thought was “good television”. 

“Weren’t we on this show once?” Zim asked.

“Back when I was trying to expose you, yeah,” Dib replied. “Funny how now I’m glad no one ever believed me...well at least about you.”

“And why even use that inferior technology?” Zim said. “They could catch ghosts, bigfoots, or whatever faster if they-”

“We aren’t advanced enough to-”

“So you admit your species is inferior?”

Dib laughed and Zim could feel Dib fiddling with his antennas. As he touched them, Zim could feel them twitching. Zim shifted himself closer as he looked at Dib.

“What...are you doing...Dib-love?” Zim asked.

“Oh, I don’t know really. Never really got a chance to feel them before. I can uh...stop touching them.” Dib stopped fiddling with his antennas. 

“Zim requires affection. I demand you hold me, love pig.” He rested against Dib. And so Dib wrapped his arm around Zim as the television blared on in the background. 

When the show eventually came to end, Dib said, “My dad probably wants me home at some point.” He paused. “But I don’t really want to go. Not yet.”

Zim turned towards Dib and grasped his wrists. “Don’t go, Zim demands it.”

“Maybe I can stay a little longer.” He glanced at his held wrists. “I guess you finally have me in your grasp, Zim.” He smiled rather oddly.

Zim looked at him confused as he released his grasp. “Huh?”

Dib pushed himself upwards as he reached towards Zim and held him close just before pressing his lips against his. Dib pulled himself away briefly before saying, “What I’m saying, it’s kind of hot when you do that. You should do it more.” He lowered his hands until he was firmly holding onto Zim.

Zim pushed Dib against the couch and pinned him in place as he sat on top of him. He smiled wickedly as he stared at Dib. It only filled Zim with excitement knowing that Dib wanted this, to be vulnerable below him. He slid his snake tongue past his rounded teeth. 

“Then Zim can deliver,” Zim said as he sat there, his back bent so that his face was only a few inches away from Dib. He stuck his tongue back in and held Dib’s head in his clawed hands before kissing him gently. 

When Zim released him, Dib said, “Is that all you got, space monster? Make me afraid.” 

Zim smiled evilly. Dib’s taunts only exciting him further. “There is so much I could do to you, dib-stink.” He lifted himself just enough so that he could run his fingers across of Dib’s chest. “You’re vulnerable Dib. I have you right here.”   
Dib bit his lip. “And what are you going to do, Zim?”

Zim laughed just before grasping Dib, holding him firmly against the couch, as he kissed him firmly on the lips. Dib ran his hands across of Zim’s back. Oh how Zim loved the fact that Dib was underneath him, unable to do anything and seeming to enjoy every minute of being in the position he was forced in.

When Zim finally released his hold, Dib said, “Fuck, you really know how to make someone horny.”

“Eh? Horny?”

“Oh...uh...,” Dib said as he twirled his fingers and his face turned red. “Maybe I shouldn’t have said anything. I don’t even know if you irkens have…” He gestured. “...sex.”

“Sex? Of course we have sex.”

“Oh...But have you?”

Zim was silent for a moment. “Eh…”

“I haven’t either...admitingly. 

“Perhaps we should have a first time then.” 

“You want to?” Dib was silent and Zim looked at him. 

“Yes, I wish to know what this ‘sex’ is like.” 

Dib reached underneath Zim’s sweater. “We can’t do anything with clothes on.” He smiled and Zim proceeded to slide off his shoes. Dib proceeded to slide Zim’s hoodie over his head leaving him in nothing but a pair of jeans.

Zim slid his fingers underneath Dib’s shirt and proceeded to help him take it off, leaving his scared, bare chest exposed. Zim felt his bare skin in his hands. He marveled in the fact that it felt so different from his own, so smooth and soft. 

Dib slid out from underneath where Zim sat on him and unbuckled his pants. Zim wondered what humans looked naked. He felt a pounding in his squeedlyspooch as he waited, excitement once again filling him. He needed to know what was underneath though the prospect was a bit   
terrifying. There could be anything and he would have no idea.

Dib slid off his pants and tossed them to the side leaving him in nothing but a pair of alien boxers. How strangely fitting it seemed. Zim never quite understood the fascination of having alien faces plastered over everything though he had an occasion worn some things with these alien faces, to which Dib would say, “Could you be anymore obvious?”

Dib sat up on his knees as he bent over and kissed Zim while Zim ran his fingers down his back. Zim grabbed onto Dib’s shoulders and pushed him towards the couch so that he could be above him once again. He traced his fingers down Dib’s torso until he reached the elastic of Dib’s boxers.

“Why don’t you take them off you alien bastard,” Dib said. 

“I think I will,” Zim said as he slid his fingers in his boxers, slowly pulling them off until Dib was left there, naked. He tossed them to the side on top of Dib’s pants. 

“And what are you going to do?” Dib said.

Zim slid off his jeans and underwear before tossing them off to the side, leaving him just as naked as Dib. Dib lifted and widen his legs, leaving him open as Zim approached him. Dib looked down at Zim’s crotch as his purple worm-like dick extended out of the slit that once hid it.

“Retractable, I see,” Dib said nervously. “Didn’t you say you were once female? Or maybe this was what you were born with, I don’t know alien biology. At least...not this.”

“Biology is highly adaptable with the right technology,” Zim explained. 

“Oh right, your species is kind of more advanced and would’ve figured these things out,” Dib said. “Well we figured out some things at least.”

“Eh...so how does yours...work,” Zim said as he looked down at Dib.

“I’ve never done it before so...uh...I guess you should slide in,” Dib said awkwardly. “It’ll be easier if you use the first hole, I don’t mind.” And so Zim slid in closer to Dib, wrapping his legs around his. He placed his hands on either side of Dib as he lowered himself, just before sliding his dick inside of Dib. Dib looked a bit surprised as Zim did so.

“What’s that face mean?” Zim asked.

“Just feels a little weird,” Dib said. “It’s fine. Of all my years studying paranormal, I never thought about researching ‘how to have sex with an alien’ but who knows what kind of results that would’ve given me.” He laughed. 

Zim slid in further and Dib relaxed a bit. Zim leaned his body against Dib as he ran his fingers through his hair and extended his tongue just before licking his neck and kissing it. Dib wrapped his arms around Zim.

“How does it taste, space boy?” Dib said.

“Disgusting,” Zim said with a smile. “Like the filthy earth creature you are.”

“And what are you going to do about it?” 

“I’m going to make you hurt.” Zim thrusted harder. 

“Is that all you can do?” 

Zim smiled wickedly. “I can do so much more.” And so Zim held onto Dib tightly as he continued and Dib reached out with his arms, grasping onto the couch tightly. With every movement, Dib only held onto the couch harder and bit his lip.

“How does it feel Dib?” Zim said with a sinister smile. “Is it too much for you to handle, earth boy?”

“I’ve had worse,” Dib said with a smile. 

And so Zim continued harder and Dib stared up at the ceiling just before gasping. It wasn’t long before a feeling of euphoria filled Zim as the tension in his arousal was finally released. Zim’s dick retracted back into the slit in his groin as he moved away from Dib.

“That was...something...wow,” Dib said as he stood up.

“It was rather pleasant,” Zim said.

“How late is it?” He looked at his phone resting on the arm of the couch. “I was supposed to be home an hour ago.”

Zim reached up to Dib. “I require that you stay here for the night.”

Dib typed away on his phone. “It wouldn’t be safe going home this late at night anyway.” He placed the phone back where it was and slid on his boxers that were resting on the floor. Zim did the same just before curling up next to Dib.

Dib fumbled with Zim’s antennas and said, “I love you, moron.”

“Love you too, stink beast,” Zim said.


	9. Episode 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dib and Zim finally graduate and move in together.

Dib chuckled to himself as Zim stood there, his graduation gown dragging on the floor. Zim looked up at him, perplexed as he adjusted his hat.

“What are you laughing at?” Zim asked.

“Just that it’s the smallest size they had,” Dib explained. “And it’s still big on you.”

“Shut up, Dib-human,” Zim said as he adjusted his robe. “You’re simply jealous you do not look as great as me in this robe.”

“That’s exactly it,” Dib said sarcastically. He reached out his hand and Zim eagerly took it. They walked across the gynasmium until they found their seats among the folded chairs. 

Zim had never thought much about skooling coming to an end. He didn’t even know when it would, but he had once imagined it would many more years. But perhaps humans didn’t quite live as long as his species, for he never expected Dib to have grown so much in only six years. It had taken the Tallest a lot longer than that to reach their full height.

The principal stood there at the podium on the front stage, his face hidden by his cloak and said, “I hope you all know that this is a very important moment considering I left my office in all of your educational careers. I could make a motivational speech about how you will all succeed in your future careers however I dislike all of you and can feel my lifespan shortening just standing here. So all I have to say is ‘Good Riddance’. And now I shall return to my office.”

The floor underneath the principal opened and he slowly disappeared. A moment later a robotic voice filled the room and said, “It is now time for the names to be called. Get your diplomas and leave before you’re exterminated for loitering.”

A floating robot lowered for the ceiling and began to call each name, handing out diplomas and quickly shooing anyone that stayed too long. When “Dib Membrane” was called, Dib smiled and proceeded to collect his diploma, leaving Zim alone in his seat.

Several more names were called and then several more as Zim impatiently waited for what felt like an eternity. He nearly fell asleep and started to drool when eventually “Zim….uh do you even have a last name?” was called.

Zim headed towards the robot and took his diploma before unfolding it. He could see his name written out. He looked up at the robot and said, “Hey, you spelled my name wrong! It’s a capital ‘M’.”

“You have ten seconds to leave the premises,” the robot said in a threatening tone.

“I demand a new diploma.”

“Nine seconds...eight…” When the robot counted to “zero” it said, “You will be exterminated now” as it’s eye turned red. Zim screamed as he quickly ran out of the fire exit. The robot crashed into the door as it slammed shut behind Zim.

Dib stood there outside as he waited for Zim. He looked at him and said, “I guess this is what happens when your name is at the end of the alphabet.”

“So what now, human?” Zim asked. “What do humans do after ‘graduation’?”

“We start our adult lives I guess,” Dib explained. 

“And you?”

“I’m going to be a paranormal investigator.” He paused. “You can join me if you want. I could use a partner...even a tiny green one.” He smiled.

“Perhaps I could join you on these ‘paranormal investigations’,” Zim said as he reached out his hand. “None of these ‘paranormal’ beings can stop me!”

“Zim, you are one of the paranormal beings,” Dib explained as he took Zim’s hand. “We can be a team, once enemies, now working together to solve the world’s greatest mysteries.” He smiled.

“And together we shall,” Zim said as Dib lead him towards his car parked just across from the skool building. Zim nearly opened the front door of the car when just then Dib placed his hand out.

“It’s my car, Zim,” Dib said.

“And I think I should be the one to drive,” Zim said.

“Not with your space piloting skills or lack there of. Move over.”

“Zim is an excellent driver.”

“You don’t even have a license.”

“Irrelevant.” Dib shook his head as he pushed Zim over so that he could sit in the front seat. Zim rolled his eyes just before sitting across of Dib in the passenger seat. 

“This will be more fun than your mission ever has,” Dib said as he shoved the key in the ignition. “A new purpose.”

“A new purpose?” Zim repeated. It was strange, he had once never imagined doing anything other than being an Invader, or a Tallest before he came to accept that he was never going to grow any more. He had felt crushed for so long but Dib had somehow made him realize perhaps   
there was something more that he could do than being an Invader.

Zim placed his hand on Dib’s thigh and looked up at him. He wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of his life with him. He hoped humans didn’t live too short of lives but even if they did he was confident he could figure something out. He had all this technology after all and knew he could build anything.

Funny, how the Tallest had meant to punish him by sending him to this planet they never cared about and yet it ended up being the best thing for him. He didn’t need to be an Invader and he certainly didn’t need the rest of Irk, not when they never believed in him. 

“I’m happy to have you here,” Dib said as he drove off and reached down with one of his hands to hold Zim’s. “The only one who truly understands me is an alien, who would’ve guessed.”

“So am I, Dib-love,” Zim said. 

“Maybe we’ve never quite belonged, maybe we’ve never been accepted but at least…,” Dib began. “...we can accept each other.” Zim smiled.

When they eventually reached Dib’s house and Dib unlocked the door, Zim looked up at him and said, “Take your things and move in with me. I require your company.”

“I don’t know if I can get all my things right now, uh, do you even have a bed?” Dib questioned.

“I will make you a bed and whatever else humans require.”

“I can get as many things as I can. I sort of have a lot of paranormal hunting equipment.”

“Then Zim shall help.” Zim opened the passenger side door. 

Several hours and an exhausted Zim later, Zim was collapsed face first on the floor of his living room as Dib unfinished packing. Gir rummaged through the new objects, barely helping at all.

“Come on, it wasn’t that bad,” Dib said as he lifted Zim from the floor.

“Zim needs to sit down,” Zim said as he headed towards the couch.

“Here,” Dib said as he handed Zim a slush monkey. Zim grabbed it from him and sipped it.

“Hmmm, delicious,” Zim said. “What is this?”

“Figured you would think so. It’s a slushie.” He sat by Zim’s side. “So I guess this is the start of something new.” He reached down and kissed Zim just before laying down on his side. Zim approached him and curled up by his side. The two of them laid there, Zim enjoying every minute of Dib holding him.

Perhaps that’s what he had wanted for so long, just to be held and known that someone else cared for him, and he had finally found it. He had only ever wanted to feel appreciated instead of a disappointment. But Dib appreciated him, somehow. He had truly felt like he landed on the right planet.

Zim thought back to his smeethood, when he stood there, naked and finally free from his tube. He remembered how proud he made sure to make himself sound when he announced the shmillion of mistakes in his PAK. Even then he assured himself that there was nothing better than him and the fact he had so many mistakes meant nothing.

The fact he was still the shortest irken meant nothing, the fact that he was never truly an invader meant nothing, the fact that he had blown up so many things and was responsible for two tallest deaths meant nothing, the fact he had ruin operation doom I meant nothing, the fact he was banished to foodcourtia for his crimes meant nothing, the fact he was put on trial to witness everything he had ever done while his fate was decided meant nothing, the fact he was a defective at all meant nothing. Or at least he wanted to.

But none of that had to do with the first mistake, the one that he was far too afraid to admit. But when he was a smeet he nearly said it as he said the words, “Forty shmillion mistakes to be exact! Starting with-” He never did finish what he was going to say. 

But as he remained there, in Dib’s arm and he looked up at him he knew exactly what he would’ve finished that sentence with. “Forty shmillion mistakes to be exact! Starting with being capable of love.” And what other smeet would have clung to cold unfeeling robotic arm with their first words being, “I love you.” 

By Irken standards perhaps he was “defective” but by people-who-matter standards there was nothing wrong with him. And finding love just meant finding someone who knows that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you cried happy tears.


End file.
